Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "What?"

Me - "You've come through to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you today sir?"

Stupid Customer - "What?! Speak up!"

Me, raising my voice - "Hello sir, youve come through to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you today?"

Stupid Customer - "Oh god, I can't hear you! For f*ck sake! [to someone in background] This girls a f*cking idiot!"

Me, voice now deadpan - "I can hear you fine sir. How can I help?"

Stupid Customer - "WHAT!!! I cant hear a word you're saying! [again to person in background] F*ck this girl is an idiot, I swear, a massive f*cking idiot, she's all ooohhhh how can I HELP you today SIIIIR, hahahahaha"

Me - "Im sorry sir, it seems you're having some trouble on your end there because I can actually hear you perfectly well, you might want to call back from different line?"

Stupid Customer - "What! You're just going to hang up on me! What kind of bullsh*t service is that?!"

Me - "I'm sorry sir, you advised me that you couldn't hear me at all?"

Stupid Customer - "Of course I could hear you you f*cking idiot1 Jeez, lighten up! I'm just messing around with you! it's not like it matters anyway, you're just a call centre monkey! And I'm the customer and I can treat you however I like! [To person in background] God can you believe this girl? Who does she think she is? Hahahahaha"

Me - *hangs up*

What a douche.