Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how can I help you?"

Stupid Customer - "Hi, how are you, Merry Christmas to you ma'am!"

Me - "Hi there, I'm going quite well thanks, and Merry Christmas to yourself too, I hope you're having a pleasant say so far"

Stupid Customer - "Excuse me?!"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"

Stupid Customer - "What did you say?"

Me - "Erm, I was just saying...."

*interrupts me*

Stupid Customer - "You widshed me Merry Christmas!"

Me - "Oh! Well, yes, yes I did, you wished me Merry Christmas and thus I was returning the festive sentiment. How could I help you today?"

Stupid Customer - "Um, NO. Hold up there, right? How do you know I celebrate Christmas? That was VERY presumptious of you, I find this all highly offensive. What if I don't celebrate Christmas? You've just offended me!"

Me - "I do apologise ma'am. As mentioned, I was merely returning the Merry Christmas you had given to myself, I'm sorry if I've caused any offence. Was there a policy I could help you with today?"

Stupid Customer - "No, no I don't think so, I'm sickened by this call, this call is ending now"

Me - "okay ma'am, well thank you for calling in today"

Stupid Customer - "Um...hello?!"

Me - "I'm sorry ma'am?"

Stupid Customer - "You didn't tell me to enjoy the rest of my Christmas Day and then wish me a Happy New Year!"

Me - "Once bitten twice shy, ma'am"

Stupid Customer, muttering - "Such terrible service..."...*CLICK*