We get calls from not only customers who are members of the health fund, but also hospitals and DRs, who are calling to generally cahse up on outstanding claims/payments.
The hospitals and Drs are still our customers too, technically.
So I get a call from a woman from a hospital, and oh lordy did it make me concerned that she was in control of patient accounts. If I'm ever in need to medical attention, I now know to NOT go to that hospital!

Me - hello :)
Stupid Customer - the patient accounts woman from the hospital

Me - "Welcome to Health Insurance Inc, how may I help you?

Stupid Customer - [All said in a very stuck up, snotty tone]    "Yes, hello, I was told 20th September that you people were investigating a claim that had not been paid, and that someone was going to call me back. Well, no-one has called me back, you still haven't paid the claim - I want to know why you people can't do your job"

Me - "Ok, let's have a look. Right, we I can see that a hospital claims assessor attemped to call you back several times 21st September..."

*interrupting me*

Stupid Customer - "No, no-one called me"

Me - "Okay. Just to confirm, is this the number we should have for you XXX-XXXX-XXX" [number obviously blanked out to protect the stupid!]

Stupid Customer - "Yes, that's my number, and no-one called me"

Me - "Okay. Well it says here they called 6 times over the course of 2 days and every single the call went to voicemail for you and message were left advisign we had called, the time we would next be calling, and they also left a direct line for you to call us back on, should we keep missing you"

Stupid Customer - "Yes, I got all of those voice messages. But no-one called me"

Me - "O...kay? Well, the main thing is that I have you on the phone now, and I can confirm that we had called to advise that that claim had actually been paid by it's due date, and was directly deposited into the DRs bank account"

Stupid Customer - "No, the claim was not paid"

Me - "Okay, well our records indicate that it was, the money should have been deposited 17th August."

Stupid Customer - "No, it's not there"

Me - "Okay, well I can ask our claims department to lodge a trace. Did you receive any other monies from the fund around that date at all? I just want to be sure that there are no other outstanding payments"

Stupid Customer - "I wouldn't know, I never checked the bank account"

Me - "O...kay? Well... I would suggest checking the account to see if the payment is in there. I'm sorry...can I just ask...how did you know the payment was missing if you had not checked the account?"

Stupid Customer - "You people always sent me a letter telling me what's been paid, and I never got the letter this time"

Me - "Okay. That's a bit unusual, we have a note here that the letter was mailed the same day the deposit was made. Has there been a recent change in the hospital's mailing address?"

Stupid Customer - "No, I get all the mail you people send us here, I've got a huge pile sitting in my office"

Me - "Okay. And the letter was deifnetely not in any of the pile you have there?"

Stupid Customer - "Dunno, I haven't opened any of it"

Me - O______O


OMFG.
And she does patient accounts.
Scary.